Breaking through the Wall

This morning my husband curiously asked, “So how’s your blog going?” My heart skipped with a little bit of guilt and a whole lot of frustration with my reply, “Well, I haven’t written in a while. I haven’t had much extra time. It hasn’t really been my priority…” I could go on and on and on. Finding yourself stuck in a rut is a natural phase for anybody, but as a mother, it’s a much easier trap to fall into.

Are you ready to break through?

As moms, we regularly put others' wants and needs ahead of our own. Raising, feeding, teaching, and nurturing little ones is a major task! At times, life can be so busy and exhausting that when we do get time for ourselves, all we want to do is rest. We want to do nothing, because we are used to doing everything. Trust me, I am a full supporter of going to bed early or sneaking a nap in while your child naps. But check this out…why wouldn’t you do something that makes you happy? Why wouldn’t that be one of your priorities?

This month started out on a good note, I was actually following a half marathon training program, enjoying summer activities with little Eisley, having girlfriends over for dinner. The second week of August I walked in the door from my long Sunday morning 10.12 mile run, to my husband handing me our 2 year old daughter covered in puke. She was really sick for 4 days, so we stayed home and I became Nurse Momma. That weekend, we began viewing houses and starting the process to purchase our first home! So exciting, yet stressful! The next Sunday I heard a loud THUD followed by screaming during Eisley’s nap. She finally learned how to climb out of her crib onto our wood floors, so we converted her crib to a toddler bed with a mesh side rail attachment. I had no idea how long and draining the process would be to teach her to sleep in her convertible bed and STAY in bed. A few days she refused to nap at all. She has been going to bed 1-1.5hrs LATER that usual and waking up 1-2.5hrs EARLIER in the mornings! It’s taken me between 40min-2hrs just to get her down to sleep; methods including sitting next to her, laying on the bed, soothing music, extra bedtime routine, and closing the door then carrying her back to bed each time she ran and opened the door. This also happened to be the same time we started her swimming lessons, which so far have landed on the “no nap” days. Did I mention how exhausted I’ve been? How am I supposed to take care of my emotional/mental/spiritual health if I am completely drained? (Oh yeah, also while training for a half marathon!)

Today, I realized and accepted the fact that I have lost steam. I understand the fact that no, I cannot control all aspects of life. All I can do is adapt, learn, and go with the flow. The best part about recognizing my feeling of being lost is that now I can move forward with my life as a wife, mother, and runner. I am reorganizing my priorities and making it a point to channel my creative outlets on a daily basis, even if it’s only fifteen minutes. 

Recharging together with a stroller run along the bay!

I used to read regularly, and now my books wait unfinished.

I used to brew kombucha weekly, and now my SCOBYs grow thick in sweet tea turned to vinegar.

I used to write ideas/material/recipes in a notebook for my blog, and now my calendar says August is nearly over with only TWO blog posts!

I used to…NO MORE! I am! I create! I enjoy! I am breaking through the wall and hope that you can too. Join me in moving forward, making the most out of our lives as mothers, friends, wives, artists, athletes, women! Adventure awaits, my friends!